The Hipster Manifesto

by Julie Grisolano

The hipster manifesto is repleat with what's cool and what's not.  If you're a hipster, you know all the latest "cool" restaurants, bars, bands, music venues, books, clothes, and "hip" neighborhoods to live in.  Being a hipster means you buck convention by getting a job out of college that is unique, dress in non-conformist clothes, probably majored in some liberal arts degree at school, loathe the idea of ever living in the burbs, listen to NPR, go to bars that are off the beaten path, like quirky movies, and listen to bands that probably get very little major network radio time.  And the minute a movie, band, restaurant, bar, or neighborhood, starts becoming mainstream, you no longer consider it "cool."  Constantly looking for the new "it", hipsters religiously search for the latest trend--before it becomes too trendy.  If everyone else is doing it, then it's not novel.  And if it's not novel, it's not hip.  Considering that being "hip" is about bucking the trend, hipsters ironically perform this ritual with clockwork.  And in no area is this clockwork-mentality more apparent than in the worldview they hold. 

Put different clothes on them and place them in a different decade, our modern-day hipster nonetheless often resembles the 1960's hippy from our parent's generation.  Is this a stereotype?  Sure.  But take a poll next time you meet a hipster and about 8 times out of 10 they'll overwhelmingly agree with the more liberal-leaning cultural opinions they listened to on NPR or read in the latest "hip" cultural-commentary book.  They'll give you an earful too on all the woes that America has inflicted on a. the world, b. every minority group in the world, and c. the vast 3rd world nations that America colonized at one time.  Forget that America didn't actually colonize the 3rd world countries they mention, rather that it was our European friends whose good-opinion they crave so much, they'll still steadfastly maintain that somehow, it's America's fault.  Not too long ago I had a conversation with a young woman, armed with a law degree and other multiple advanced-degrees, who argued that America was the worst nation on the planet.  As an ardent feminist, I thought surely that she'd consider countries with aggressive policies against women---countries that don't allow women to vote, drive a car, or eat in public---far worse.  But, she adamantly disagreed saying that, "Nothing compares to America.  We're the worst country in the world."  Now, I'm not saying my country of residence is perfect, but I will bet my meager life savings that America's young feminist hipsters wouldn't relish the idea of trading places with the ladies of Saudi Arabia. 

And hipster's worldview---formed so delicately from their objective college professors who themselves were 1960's hippies---tends to lean closer to Karl Marx's "Communist Manifesto" and the Albert Kinsey Sexology Report than Milton Friedman's "Capitalism and Freedom" and John Paul II's "Theology of the Body."  Carrying the banner of pro-choice, pro-same sex unions, and a breakup of things conventional, a hipster's slogan in the rally of life might sound like, "It's too bad the Bushes didn't consider abortion!" "No blood for oil!" and "Put big business OUT of business!"  If ever a group parrotted the talking points coming straight off the press of a political party, it's the hipster. 

Maybe it's ironic that what the hipster---who loathes being "just like everyone else"---is really advocating is just more of the same.  Considering that in today's culture there are not many taboos left to break, it's somewhat amazing that the hipster hasn't become counter-cultural.  So what's the hipster fighting?  In American culture, nearly 50% of couples live together before marriage; abortion and contraception have been legal since the hipster was born; and the civil rights and feminist movements happened in the previous generation.  Sex is so casual in this culture that huge numbers of Americans are getting diseases: 1 in 5 Americans suffer from genital herpes and 1 in 4 from some other veneral disease.  (It's a sad state of affairs when you learn these stats from watching television commercials that advertise for veneral disease medication.)  Pornography is so ubiquitous (4.2 million internet websites with over 420 million webpages ), that it's one of the fastest growing businesses in America raking in $3.6 billion dollars a year.  Same-sex marriage is legal in a few U.S. states---and short of a miracle---will most likely be commonplace in the forseeable future.  Long gone are the days of civility in our society with boundaries on behavior.  In the words of songwriter Cole Porter, "Anything Goes."  Or perhaps it's really more appropriate to quote Shakespeare's line from Macbeth, "Fair is foul and foul is fair."

Why you ask, the rant on hipsters?  A commentary by Sun-Times columnist, Richard Roeper today, mentioend that many "hipsters" he spoke to were overjoyed at the news that the restaurant, Bennigans, filed for bankruptcy.  And, it just seems like so many people, including that mainstream suburbanite who grew up in a square household, wants to be unique, "different", or hip.  More importantly though, most hipsters are young, bright, college educated men and women who happen to be the future of our country.  The boomers won't live forever---no matter how much they think otherwise.  And even further, it's an annoying battle line the hipsters are holding because it's really not hip to maintain the status quo---especially when the status quo is starting to stink.  What's so revolutionary and cutting-edge about facilitating the flushage of our society down history's drain of has-been cultures? 

Comments

[Brigit]

Great commentary. I suppose there is some hope since "hipsters" (or liberals) think that things like homosexual marriage and abortion aren't the norm.... However hard people try to buck the natural law, there is no getting away from the fact that there IS a natural law which governs our hearts, as much as we choose to ignore it.

[Bruce Meyer]

This is a wonderful, wonderful column. I'm a foot-dragging-repentant former hipster, without Jacob/Israel's excuse. Hey, that's why I read SALVO: the hipster digital read! Every once in awhile I will remember my desire for hipsterness and try to think clearly about all the wrong and evil things they know, love, and do. Sigh. So I take comfort in the fact that there's nothing more counter-cultural than the righteousness of God.

[Shannon]

So homosexuals go against "natural law" that you found... where? Somehow they just picked up "abnormality" in their poor Christian mothers' wombs?

There's nothing "hip" about equality, tolerance, and separation of church and state. It's "hip" because it's right, and the longer you guys take to get with the trend, the harder morality will hit you when you finally realize that the only thing Christian that belongs as a mandate in our society is "Judge not".

"Hipsters" don't do wrong or evil any more often than anyone else with their own agenda in this world, and you'd be well to concern yourself more with your own lack of respect towards others than with judgment of others on superficial things like their choice of music or clothing. People only belong in boxes according to how they treat others, regardless of how freaked out their sexual preferences make you.

P.S. The righteousness of God isn't counter- cultural, either. Our own President still swears on the Bible, so we can't pretend that people in this country enjoy perfect religious freedom.

[The Herpes Blog]

Yes, 1 in 5 North Americans have herpes and over 55% of the African American population has genital herpes. We would do better to address the virus and the shame and stigma that go along with it. If we can bring the facts out of the closet, we can start to heal and bring proper research dollars to finding a vaccine for future generations.

Nanci Elliott
The Herpes Blog

[Suzie Sue]

I guess so much nowadays is about being vintage or being hip or being cool. Guys.. just be what you are, and don't worry about what others think, even if you are a hipster or not.

[Charlie]

Shannon, stop the judging. It's hurtful.

[Julie]

To Shannon: Actually, the righteousness of God is absolutely counter-cultural--in no other organized religion other than Christianity is the God-head considered loving--even offering himself up sacrificially for his people. To the Herpes blog: it's not shaming anyone to say that herpes isn't ideal. It's a disease. It doesn't make you bad or unlovable because you have it, but it is a disease that should be preferably avoided.

If hipsters realized that they were already unique because they are made in the image and likeness of God--and no two snowflakes are the same--then they wouldn't have the deep seated desire to try to be different. It's just sad because being hip isn't that...they're just parroting really dangerous political ideas as they search for meaning.

Who cares if it sounds cliched, but the only solution is the one no one wants to say out loud: Jesus Christ.